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Perfectionism is Sneaky!

6/3/2019

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I had scheduled a photo shoot a couple months ago to update my website and social media accounts with a new head shot. I was excited and had my two outfits for the shoot picked out weeks in advance. A couple days before the shoot, I started stressing out over what I was going to wear.  I reached out to a friend via text:
Me: I have nothing to wear for my photoshoot
Her: Yes, you do. You have lots of cute outfits
Me: Yes, but none of them are perfect…...
I stopped dead in my tracks as typed the last letter of that dreaded word
"perfect "and out loud said "son of a bitch". Perfectionism had crept in, and I hadn't even noticed. I immediately stopped rummaging through my closet. I was going to wear the original two outfits I had picked out weeks ago because damn it they are good enough! 

Perfectionism isn't something that some people have, and others don't. We have all experienced it on some level. For some, it can show up when we are feeling extra vulnerable, and in others, it shows up daily as a compulsion to be perfect in everything we do. Whether it shows up sporadically or daily, it can wreak havoc on our sense of self and leave us feeling not good enough if it goes unchecked.
Perfectionism is the belief that if you look perfect, act perfect and do everything perfect than others cant shame, blame, or judge you. Perfectionism is you trying to avoid or minimize negative feelings that shame, blame, and judgment bring on.
Perfectionism is a self-sabotaging behavior. When you aim for perfection, you are literally setting yourself up for failure. Because perfection is unattainable. We can't control others perceptions of us no matter how hard we try.
Signs you may be struggling with perfectionism:
  • You spend an insane amount of time on a project, email, assignment because you are continually redoing it trying to get it perfect.
  • You give up or don't try something because you are afraid of failure.
  • You want to be the best at everything you do and beat yourself up if you don't feel that you are.
  • You don't take constructive criticism well.
  • You find it hard for others to see you have made a mistake.
  • You are a "people pleaser."
I shared my story because sometimes we need reminders to strive for a healthy good enough rather than perfectionism. Aim to be the best version of yourself by accepting your vulnerabilities and practicing self-compassion.  Remember that people are going to judge regardless and all we can do is embrace who we are imperfections and all. 



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    April Schoonover,
    Licensed Professional Counselor

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